Wedding yet A G A I N.

Well my sister (the older one) had another wedding in Hoeland. :p and yes of course it was amazing yet AGAIN. What can I say? She looked superbly amazing in whatever she was wearing which was a white tube dress with a lace overall. Me and eliqa wore a silver tube top with a fucking itchy overall. buh in the end we all looked so good. and it was worth the sucking in my stomach and not breathing properly. To be honest I didnt fit my jacket/overall. It was basically just to fucking tight and i was just to fucking fat. -.-

Buh in the end it all turned out amazing as usual. I ate like a fucking retard at the wedding. and then there was this fucking cute guy there his name was Cees. <3>

The desert menu was amazing. and of course Bob was just there all the time. serving me apfel saf which is apple juice and water to me and sulaika. Lol. it was a good day after all. <3

O'right bitches and whores out there in the world who actually read my shit.
imma go cuz this shit is just fucking pissing me off cuz i aint got nothing else to write about.

oh and btw, penises are like so amazing if they jizz in your pussy. ;) x

Beauty.

Beauty. What is beauty to some people? To some , it might be the way they look. Or to some it might be the way they walk. Or what they wear. And of course to some, its by the products they have on their face's covering them like a mask you wear.

Beauty is something that everyone has within them. No matter what size or colour you are. Beauty is found in everyone. And of course to some, in everything. Even though I have only lived 13 years. I think I have seen what real beauty is. Beauty can be anything you wish it would be. For instance,

Beauty could be a sun just breaking out of a cloud in the sky and changes the appearence of what it once was ...just an ordinary blue sky.

Or

Beauty is love, that you share with the only person you want to spend your whole life with.

Beauty is many different things, to many different people. Buh it doesn't matter because beauty is everywhere around you. :)

Hoeland / Wedding in Hoeland. :p AND being in London, England.

Well, Yes. I was in Holland also known as Hoeland to me :). Basically for my sisters wedding. :D She looked like an angel (A). <3>

ON THE OTHER HAND.

Im in London, England. :D while my other sister is in Germany -_-. Anyways.. I dont care. Im basically having THE time of MY LIFE. and of course i am with my parents :). HAH. another bonuuusss for meeeee (A). Anyways, about London. Yes i have been on the train that runs underground. and yes I have been on that big red double bus thing. :D And yes, i did SHOP. :)

Come on people, its LONDON, and every where is having a SALE. how can no one shop?

Tomorrow im going to the famous and well known Oxford Street. :D (Y).

We are currently staying in Paddington, which is like a 10 min walk from the underground train :D. Sadly, im only here for 3 days and tomorrow is basically my LAST day.

Then its off to Hoeland. Again for another 2 days. Then, only then... Its back home. To Dubaaai <3

Well, thats basically ALL of i have to blog about. I hope my sister is safe, and I hope tomorrow shall be a good day to shop :P <3

Much loves homos :) <3

Giving up.

Giving up is really not an option in life. Buh at this point of MY life, yeah I gotta say, Imma fucking give up on this girl. I just cant take this shit anymore. Shes not giving one shit about me... :/ so I guess I'm not really gonna do the same.

Plus, if you have read my other posts, I guess im just not that into her. Im no doormat, that can just be used and i cant wait for her forever. :/ I thought i could. because i really thought she was the one, buh in the end... its never right. no one shall ever be right for me :(

Life is something you make up on your own. yeah, maybe you do need some ppl. buh in the end, its what you have and what you have lost. you gain yet you loose. life is exactly like that. You gain friends yet you shall loose some in the end. people who stay are the ones worth fighting for.
I guess, i couldnt fight this battle of hers , i have bleed to much for her. and i know im not going to get her at the end of this war. cuz this is just not my battle to win. :/

Much loves. x

Difficult-ness. :/

Gaah. Girls are difficult. Really difficult... Buh in this case, shes kinda like not..? I dont know. shes confusing me. its like i like her, buh then i dont. cuz shes not really doing or giving me anything. she texted me saying she was crying. i called her up and i listened. and oh how i wish i was with her... how i wish i could resolve everything... all her troubles.

buh in this case, i cant really do that can i? this sucks. i suck. i like like this girl to death and i shall do anything for her. buh then its all going wrong. why? I want her to see that i want her so bad. i want her to be mine. i want to show me that i can be her superman. i will take her hand and make sure she feels safe. i be anything she wants. i know shes the one for me.

Have you ever believed in love at first smile ? or laugh? yeah, thats who i felt. when she smiled , i know thats he was the one for me. the way she walks is so amazing. the way she laughs is cute. i find her amazingly cute. why cant she see that i can be her hero. i can be everything she needed.

Im puzzled. i want her, yet its so difficult to get her.. should i give up? or should i keep fighting this battle... ?

im stuck, i dont really know what to do.. can someone out there help me? gaah. she been on my mind like everyday...

Help me out here... :/

Much love biscuits. <3

Theres something up.

I been thinking about this girl I once knew, we're close now... and i truly think i kinda like her. my minds going wild with the thoughts of her and me. I spent a day with her, and all i could think about was being with her. You see she has this smile that i just simply love. It drives me crazy because her smile can brighten up my day.
I told her how i felt and she really didnt give a response, i dont blame her... Come on how would you feel if some person of the same sex as you told you he/she likes you... i dont think its gonna be okay.. Shes into this guy, or kinda into this guy.. i dont know. she talks about him all the time. he's kinda okay. at least he makes her smile. Im happy about that.
Someone out there can make her smile.. she with me now. shes just so amazing, shes in my school, shes a lil older.. buh like what can i say.. Im just so deeply deeply in like with her. She makes me feel weird, she makes me fall for her by the second. I want her. I really do.
Buh at the same time, i cant have her. seems like she belongs to someone else. thats definitely not me. :/ Yeah its hard i guess, buh like i said, i been rejected more then i been accepted. I dont really mind. as long as she gets to smile, and i get to see her smile. Im okay with that.
Some times in life, you dont always get what you want. buh you will always see what you have dreamed about. and i have dreamed about her shining and smiling away. and right now, thats what shes doing. shes shining like a star and shes smiling like a princess.. :) <3
I gotta say, shes amazing... she one of a kind. and i guess I kinda like her. she makes me want her. she does things that dont make sense. i dont make sense... shes different.
Shes just my type. :)

Much love betches. or as she says Biscuits. ;)

Finals..

Yeah well, finals are close :S

Imma be working/studying my ass off.

They say its gonna be a SAT paper.. so im pretty nervous..

I kinda have to study.. dont really want too, buh in the end i dont really even have a fucking choice.

Studying will get you where you want to go. and right now, i want to get good grades and pass this shit...

Things just been going hay wire in school, Im having this HUGE major fight with my best friend, and like its really bothering me.. cuz you know, she in my class, i see her 24/7... everyday in that same place where she sits..

i hate my class teacher.. i think she just loves picking on me and some of my other class mates.. she seriously has a fucking problem she needs to fix..

there are times where i really just would like to punch her in the nose and like knock her lights out.

Buh sadly i cant do that... :/ been having shit loads of stuff to do, at home&school.

Have millions of projects and of course the concert which is coming up. and how im prefect and i have to do so many things.

oh and i never got the chance to tell you this, buh my so called " nice class teacher " got me resigned from my ORIGINAL post as prefect.. she complained.. and i guess i had no say in it what so fucking ever..

So yeah, i guess you could say i was kinda pissed when i found out.. :/ :(

Anyways...

imam update when i can.. or want too. <3

Cause This Girl Got Me Thinkin'...

Feel in love with a girl, she got me goin' crazy..

what should I do with her? Confront her with my feelings... ?

What if she runs away? What if it all goes wrong...?

What do I do then? Will I ever see her again?

Girl, you gotta understand. That you making my mind go round&round.

I can't barely think when im talkin' to you.

Im scared of the things i've ever said to you.

What if you leave me? And then what happens to this heart of mine?

girl, you gotta understand... i'll wait forever until your mine. <3

Just understand, that im no playa, i'd stay beside yah..

Even at your worst. Call me straight up, even in the morning..

I'll listen to everything, cause babeh, you mean everything.

You don't need to hide things away from me. I'll understand, if i don't..

i'll tell you straight up so you can explain while i listen to your voice as it enters my brain.

You need to know, that your amazing.. What should I do?

Make my move? or watch you shine?

Girl, i love you. <3

What can I say . . .

Mozza and me arent okay. We had this major bitchy fight. And well, lets just say we're not okay. Buh we talk. . . Sometimes.
His birthday was a week ago. Tried to call, didnt pick up. Guess he knew who i was :/. I didnt feel like crap. Though i did. Buh i didnt at the same time. Its just screwed up.
Its like loving a thing that will never talk to you, and love you back. Its like loving a paper doll :/. TBH, its crappy, hes crappy. Hes shit. Hes nothing compared to the other people that have effected my life. hes the crappiest shit alive. And yet, deep down inside, i care for him.
I care for a crappy and shitty thing. That once made my life so beautiful with all his perfect lies. So perfect, that not even I could see that he was such a good lier.
Hes made my life like crap. So now, theres no point in even having him in it. buh, in the end. . .it will all work out fine. I hope :/
Enough of all the crappy and shitty talk about him and me and her , just enough of them. . .
Things in school, have been okay. Studies are okay, gonna get my results soon. All i can say is taht i got a C in math :/ :( Buh it okay. i will and i shall inprove. :D. that im so positive about (; .
Anyways, everything seems to be okay. Gonna go now. Waiting for eliqa to come back so she can print this thing for me (: x

Much loves bizothes x <3

Havent gotten much time.

Well the heading is a lie. Its just that i havent bothered to post anything really. Anyways on with stuff...

New years :

Im guessing you all got drunk and probably dont remember what you did for it. Buh mine was really enjoyable. I spent my new years in Austria with family :) <3.>

So i had fun , oh yeah... LOTS of it. hahha. there was a guy involved. his name was Alex. well that what i think his name was.. HAHA. and he was 16 & he had braces and he was like extremely cute. i got a thing for cute guys what to do ;) x. & well we had fun. he was drunk and we kissed. and well yeah. It was a new years kiss.. so guys back from malaysia who read this.. know that it was just a NEW YEARS KISS :D x

What else ? Oh yeah .. school.

School has been so far so good. New term new shizz. its the same every where around the world.
Oh and birthday coming up. in like 2 days <3 style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Got my present from My two B E A U T I F U L sistas ;) <3 style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">* Skullcandy headphones & The new Ed Hardy perfume.

What to do... Im spoiled ;) x
To those out there who thing im bragging ... IM NOT. im just saying what i got. and to the haters Fook you :D x

Live life till you cant live no more. buh have your limits and understand the rules and OBEY people OBEY them. Even if i break the rules xD <3